Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Present

As Fanny Mae stood at the bus stop across from Jupiter Apartments, the rain started to come down hard. She made a motion to run for cover, but then nixed the idea. Who cares? she thought. The bus will be here soon anyhow, I'm already wet... Fanny Mae continued to stare out into the distance, not focusing on anything. Her mind was as blank and her newly emptied apartment. She suddenly looked up at a strange figure, bent forward, trying to block the rain. As the figure got closer, Fanny Mae recognized it as Madame Maureen, the palm reader. Madame Maureen did not look up to acknowledge Fanny Mae, she just walked past, hunched over, gripping her left arm. Fanny Mae occasionally walked my the palm reading shop, but never went in. What was the point in knowing the future? If what you find out sucks, you can't change it anyways, right? She never let herself be tempted to know what her future holds, to know if she would ever settle. Sure it would be nice to settle in one place, but how could I really do that? She thought about Madam Maureen again. The poor woman always looks so hungry. She had heard someone say that Madame Maureen has lived here all her life. The majority of that life was spent in poverty because she wouldn't just tell people what they wanted to hear. There's no reason to stay somewhere if your life there get all screwed up! Why would I want to stay here? I don't know anyone, no one cares, and now everyone thinks I'm crazy because I stabbed a guy. Madame Maureen's shadowy figure was no longer in sight whatsoever, as she turned down the alley between Jupiter apartments and Sunshine Daycare. It looks like she's going to the playground...She is all alone I don't want to end up that way, I can't bear it. What if when I die I have no one to hold on to. If I live to be 99 years old, I want to have my loved ones at my side. What loved ones? Will I have loved ones? What will my future hold? The future... Fanny Mae glanced toward the direction of the playground. Throwing all of her ideas about foreseeing the future aside, Fanny Mae walked towards where she saw Madame Maureen disappear into the rain. She kept walking and didn't turn back, even as the bus pulled up behind her. I have to know. I can't live without knowing where I'll end up. I just need something to look forward to, even if it's a terrible fate. There has to be something that I can hold on to, that can ground me. Fanny Mae found herself sprinting towards the playground, then she noticed a crowd of people staring at something by the slide. Fanny Mae froze, she didn't even have to go any further, she knew exactly what had happened. She was stuck, she had left the past, she no longer could dwell in it, and now her door to the future was closed. She was trapped between the two, with no where to escape to.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Bus Stop

"Mrs. Lewis?"
"Ms., its Ms. Lewis." Fanny Mae said.
"Oh, excuse me, well your friend is in the recovery room if you'd like to see him." the doctor said.
"Oh, no thanks. He's not a friend, I just wanted to make sure he ain't dead." Fanny Mae said as she turned to leave.
"Well, I think there were some police looking for you ma'am, did you talk to them?"
"Yes, its all straightened out, well I gotta get going, thanks for all your help." Fanny Mae turned and left the hospital, not looking back. She headed to the police station, where she had a meeting with the sheriff. On her way there, she passed the food mart where she saw a bald man overlooking the city. Nothing seemed affected by the previous night's incidents, the city was the same, except her. Upon arriving at the police station, she was warmly greeted by a tall man in a blue uniform.
"Ms. Lewis, lets get right to business. We have officially put it on record that this incident was a case of self defense, but we are still concerned for your safety. We would like to suggest that you get a restraining order, we don't want anything like this to happen again."
"I like the sound of that, I am just so scared. I never meant to hurt him, I- I just..." she welled up and began quietly sobbing.
"Ms. Lewis, Ms. Lewis. It's alright, it will all be okay. We understand your situation and we just want to keep you safe. Before we start on the paper work, I would like you to tell me exactly how you know this..." he looked down at the file, "Bert Huron. We need to know everything."
"Well to start, he is my ex-husband. We were high school sweethearts and incredibly happy. We stayed together, I didn't even go to college because I wanted to star our life together as soon as possible. Things were great for a while, then he started coming home drunk nearly every night. He would get so angry at little things and soon his anger turned into abuse. He would hit me. I would tell myself it was just the alcohol, but it only got worse an worse. The last time I saw him before yesterday was the day I told him I might be pregnant. He was so drunk and he was the maddest I've ever seen him. He hit me a few times until he passed out in his drunkenness. I decided that was enough, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going to bring a baby into that toxic environment. But it turns out it was just a...a false alarm, I wasn't pregnant." She began to tear up again. "Anyways, that night I hopped on the next bus and took it to the furthest town from there. I ended up here. I don't know, I always run. It's just what I do, I didn't see a way out of my situation so I packed up and left.That's the way I've always been."
"Well don't feel like you need to run this time, he will be locked up for a while and we will get you a permanent restraining order. He won't be bothering you anymore." The sheriff said comfortingly.
"Well thank you so much, I appreciate all you have done for me." Fanny Mae stood to leave. She left the police station and headed toward her small apartment in the Jupiter apartment building. Once there, she immediately began packing all her stuff into her few suitcases. Her mind was blank, she didn't think of anything but the task of packing her valuables. After all her stuff was packed, Fanny Mae Lewis walked across the street and stood at the bus stop that she had arrived at only a little while ago.